Rachel and Shaina just got dumped.

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Starring Rachel Bloom and Shaina Taub
Written by Rachel Bloom, Shaina Taub and Jack Dolgen
Directed by Adam Stein and Colin Campbell
Cinematography by E. Gustavo Petersen
Edited by Greg Burke

Dancers: Tess Paras, Emma Koenig, Rebecca Delgado-Smith and Dominique Toney
DJ Douchebag: Jack Dolgen
Choreographed by Tess Paras

Set Design by Laura Levin
Hair and Makeup: Rachel Olson
Gaffer: Mariscela Mendez
Swing: Mike Kenne
Driver: Logan Wade
Production Assistants: Marni Fruman and Logan Ludwig

LYRICS:

Spoken:

Shaina: Yo. Rachel and I just got dumped.

Rachel: Yeah! And you know what? We’re better off! ROB.

Shaina: Damn right. It’s time to have a girl’s night.

Rachel: Yeah! It’s time to have a girl’s night! Let’s start singing now!

Shaina:
BABY EVER SINCE YOU LEFT
I’VE BEEN LOOKIN’ SO DAMN FINE
I’M FEELING LIKE MYSELF AGAIN
IT’S ABOUT GODDAMN TIME.

Rachel:
BABY EVER SINCE YOU LEFT
I’VE BEEN EATIN’ A LOT OF CHEESE.
I HAVEN’T SHOWERED IN 3 DAYS
AND I’M SLEEPING WITH MY DOG, LOUISE.

Chorus:
WE DON’T NEED A MAN
(I’M BETTER OFF ALONE)
WE DON’T NEED A MAN

Rachel: I don’t deserve love!

Shaina:
GETTIN’ READY FOR THE CLUB
JAMMIN’ TO MY FAVORITE SONG
GOT MY SHORT SHORT SKIRT
MY HIGH HIGH HEELS
AND MY RED LIPSTICK ON.

Rachel:
GETTIN’ READY FOR THE CLUB
AND BY CLUB I MEAN THE BATH.
GOT MY SHORT SHORT SKIRT
MY HIGH HIGH HEELS
AND WRITE ROB’S NAME ON MY ARMS IN RED LIPSTICK.

Chorus:
WE DON’T NEED A MAN
(I’M AN EMPOWERED WOMAN)
WE DON’T NEED A MAN

Rachel: I made a life-size replica of you out of socks you left at my apartment.

Shaina:
OHHH I’M STRONGER NOW WITHOUT YOU HOLDING ME BACK

Rachel:
OHHHH I’M STRONGER NOW FROM CARRYING THE SOCK MAN WHILE WE DANCE.

Shaina:
I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU A LONG TIME AGO!

Rachel:
I SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN FAT.

Chorus:
WE DON’T NEED A MAN
(I’M BETTER OFF ALONE)
WE DON’T NEED A MAN….

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